The NeverEnding Route

2008-12-16T22:52:00.002+08:00

I cant believe my luck.

I was late. by a good 1/2hr.
but i saw it the minute i step into the store.

if i was delayed by another 3mins, it will be gone.
im sorry to the lil girl.
She saw me walking ard wif it,
holding it dearly in my hands.

I didnt noe it was the last one there.
I was still walking ard trying to find a better copy.
Until i heard the auntie tell the lil girl tt i was holding on to the last copy.

i still cant believe my luck.

2008-12-16T02:07:00.004+08:00

Everything pales in comparsion.

I need to get my hands on tt book, or rather tt set of books.

How can it be possible tt even city square in JB. also ran out of stock.

wth~

all i want for xmas~

monies to fix cam
monies to enjoy seafood dinner w/ friends in JB
learn to play tt piece. jus one piece will do.
most importantly.. i wan, no. make tt i NEED tt set of books.
that's all im thinking about for 2days now.
its driving me crazy.

Point me to where the books are!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-12-15T13:12:00.004+08:00

tell me... how.

how to resist?

eyes like that...

Im weak. im melting. arghhhh. i cant get enough.
y mus they have eyes that look thru the soul??

2008-12-08T19:14:00.002+08:00

ahhh... i cant belief im viewing the forum more than shopping online. or studying.

all i need for xmas~
pics pics pics

list to do by nx week:
: fix my SLR (a very lok cok one la)
: stock up films
: save monies to process films!

Im gg shooting nx week!

who's interested???

2008-12-06T22:56:00.002+08:00

sumtimes its good to have a wake up call.
u cant be dreaming forever.

one min, its a good dream.
the nx min, its a nitemare.

I had my wake up call.
It fucking hurts.

but nvm, time will do the trick la.
so now, divert back my attention pls!

good gal, fel~

2008-12-02T20:08:00.002+08:00

I am so impress by the old camera, which my papa had wanted me to sell.
I should find some time to service tt camera.
And my papa wantes to pass his SLR to me.
woohoo!
tt old thing is finally mine!!!

I'm in love with films~

The B is getting on track.
Hopefully, some how, one way or another...
I can attract good people.
Bad people shoo!!!

2008-11-29T09:55:00.002+08:00

I dono if i am able to make it.
It seems harder than last yr.
But its also prob the time factor.

But i belief i can make it,
given time, some good luck and good people.

Take it easy, fel.

2008-11-27T14:03:00.000+08:00

i must be dreaming or...
jus plain stupid.

but i think im jus stupid la.
haha

2008-11-26T22:14:00.002+08:00

I love taking buses.
Of cos not when its damn crowded.
But when there are a few people sitting around
and i have a window seat.
Window seat is very impt.
It allows me to reflect and relax during my journey.

On tues, i waited damn long for 171.
So long, i was starting to think i will hate taking buses from then on.
But when the bus came. I smiled inside and went 'ah ha! Finally'.
This shows i will never give up on taking a bus.
The comfort i felt just by sitting on it, and the many silent wishes that the journey will not end.. simply shows my love.

On 171, i was thinking abt a prob tt was bothering me.
I was wondering if he knows this prob is a deep one becos it shows alot on how he is handling a relationship.
Den i went 'of cos he doesnt understand.'
and then, i went fuming mad.
but only for a short while, becos thinking abt his good points comforts me so much.
(:
See how taking a bus ride clears my head.

2008-11-26T19:38:00.002+08:00

if this is wat i wan.
why is it bleeding inside me?

never will u understand.
never ever..

2008-11-26T00:01:00.002+08:00

Silence in the room.
Mind still working double the speed.

Cant understand..
is it so fragile?

whole day. no contact at all, even though u could.
stop telling me wat happens when i go ns.
it isnt time.
present is more impt.
i don need any training for the future.
what matters is wat u do now.
but never will u understand.

fighting wif ppl i don even gif a shit about.
attention.
when will it fully be mine?
money or brand don buy me happiness.
i ve no wants. except to travel.
need: attention.

giving in is never my forte.
but still i did. for once. i tried.
i don feel stupid. cos i tried.
no appreciation watsoever.
except for the dreadful word: sorry.
sorry aint the world. sorry don cure anymore.
sorry is a word i wanna wipe out in our memories.
but never, will u understand.

change. not the same. diff world.
not willing to communicate.
did u even ask me wat i wan?
y did u assume?
esp wif ppl i dono well.
i would if u asked me first.
i don like u making plans without me.
i feel...

tired now. willing to feel the shit.
and not short term happiness.
y m i fighting? for wat purpose?
holding on to a thin piece of thread.
i tot it will hold me. but its breaking up.

u said ok. u wun regret.
i feel something inside broke.

2008-11-24T23:46:00.002+08:00

So i try to eat less. skip meals.
but y m i still so fat?

arrggghhhh...

studying is a slow and torturing process.

2008-11-23T20:19:00.002+08:00

Bro did not win yest. But he was great lei.. haha
Anw, he is already a winner!

So gene n me were quite aimless yest.
So we roam ard. Ages since we done tt!
I mean we have been so lazy to step out of the house.
Well, except late at nite. For gatherings or clubbing.
Im a weekend drinker, i need to drink on weekends.

So, after aimless walking around, we boarded the train towards Marina. Just so we can get a seat. To play PSP! I almost kick his ass.. well.. almost la..

After which, we bought some cheap drinks and went to my area for a drink n more psp!
After finishing all the drinks, i needed the toilet so we went home. Then then then, after(notice how many 'after' i used) abt 1hr, i decided i haven had enluff to drink. So we went down AGAIN! haha..
And we spent most of the night jus talking away like tt.
It was relaxing!

Last night he made up to me for not going down sentosa on fri. haha.. well.. i din miss out anything anyway. Cos wat i missed, i got back last nite! And it was way cheaper!

And did i mention? Im broke broke broke. Though i know if i wanted to go anywhere, he will pay for me. I don wan to do tt la.. Asking him to pay but feeling not right for tt.

So, its the start of the week. A busy week i reckon. Mon go cwp collect stuff. Tues make card after sch n tuition. Wed whole day of sch n tuition. Thurs working. Fri will be steamboat COUPLE DATE! haha..

Though we cant quite remb when we first saw each other thru our respective bf. Thank god we live so near to each other. So quite easy to meet out tgt. Haha.

Anw, random tots now.
If its so difficult, why bother?
Its so difficult to understand u.
Why cant people put their words across more clearly?
Its getting irritating trying.
Funny. A word to describe ur thinking. well, tt is if i truely understand ur thinking.
Lost. A word to describe u.
Hopeless. A word to describe us.

I asked Bf 'we will always be tgt rite?'
Bf(while playing psp): Ya
Me: Always tgt, unless u got another gal?
Bf: Wun have another gal la.

So tt's all i need to hear.
Enough for me to lean on u. n only u.

Bf jus sms-ed me. He's bringing me somewhere on 12Dec. where where where????

2008-11-19T22:27:00.002+08:00

On the way to YS today, I felt lucky.
I have a not-too-bad-quality hp.
I can study.(Though i whine about it)
I can travel. (Though not as and when i like)
I can eat whatever I want.
I have pretty bags, shoes, slippers, dresses, etc (Though I still want more)
I have a grandma, who passed away 30yrs ago but is still around looking after us.
Now, i do not know my grandma personally. I din have the chance to. And perhaps, when its time for me to go. She would already have been re-born. But THANKS!

The list could go on and on. But I was wondering... life wouldnt be any different wat.
If i do not have a hp, i will use the public phone.(Like the first few years of my life)
If i cant study, i will work. Which in turn.. gives me enough cash to travel, have pretty bags, etc...

So did I chose my path correctly?
However, don get me wrong. For I am Thankful. (=

2008-11-18T01:20:00.003+08:00

Ive just deleted my previous blog. According to jac(a few yrs ago..) i will delete it when i truely put it down. The 'it' refers to my previous r/s, which i would rather not mention again. So, at last.. im free. (=

Plans for this weekend cancelled. Not tt i really mind. I know if I really wanna go, dear will bring me there. But no point la.. we might as well save up for our trip next year. (=

Perhaps I simplified the matter. Perhaps u complicated the matter. But it doesnt matter. Im not used to this kind of situation anw.

Lately, I've been trying. To work harder. But im not sure if its working. Im jus not as motivated, compared to... when i was taking my Os? I wanna score well too. Who don wan...

Dear n me are also having problems. Mayb he's jus busy, trying his best too and he is not used to it. So it is occupying his time. Aiya.. just don ignore feelings or any matter. It wun jus vanish de. Im very impulsive. Breaking up is not a statement to me. I really wanna do it. But im afterall a girl la.. still abit soft at heart. Well anyway...

And some1 asked me a WHAT IF qns..
I couldnt ans. Becos i don see the purpose in that. Even if u turn back time, we might not be the same.

And money is an issue to me. Can money jus fall from somewhere?

I so wanna go back Phuket..

2008-05-19T21:59:00.002+08:00

I m depress...

All my hardwork for the past months down in drain...

Dono how to face the rest of the papers now wif such sucky attitude.

Feel no fear, hope or whatsoever.

Jus wish time will zoom past as quickly as possible.

Let this nightmare end.

2008-03-23T13:20:00.002+08:00

I jus realise AGAIN how small the world really is.
OMG la...
how come lidat!!!

Everyone is connected one way or another.
So funny!

But don guess wrong, i din see any1 tt i don wan to see!
like 'tt one tt one' zf keep making fun of on the bus.
-.-
i tell u ar... tt zf!
don see him 'bao cai' onli.
wa kao, he shoot ppl no mercy de.
and silly me keep trying to cover back my lost points.
(lost points becos it was a stupid game im playing in my head)

ok la.. back to the point.
WORLD GOT SO SMALL MEH????
DEN I WAN TO GO WORLD TOUR FOR MY HONEYMOON!!
:))

2008-03-22T15:53:00.002+08:00

it ended.

Doesnt matter why or how..
Its jus b/w the two of us.
A yr ago,
All u seek is us.
A yr ltr,
U wan to play the field.
By all means.
:)

But don lie to me again.
I wun gif u a chance too.

Sometimes,
one jus need to learn respect for others.
If u love only urself,
wat more do u expect?

anw, it has officially ended.
And all the memories, good or bad,
will be discounted by half.
Becos i don noe at this point of time
how much to belief in it.

2008-03-11T01:12:00.002+08:00

My mock is here and gone!
Jus one more paper tml.
But u noe... its pretty redundent for mi to go for it.
I din study.. I read thru(& im still lack of 5chapts).
I din do qns, or draw any graphs.
I feel i sldnt go.
But something is telling me tt i sld.
I shall see how tml..
actually the mock's results does not scare me, its my attitude tt scares me.

My menses pain is killing me. Its coming too much.
To e point tt i feel faint.
Arghh!

I stick to wat i like too much.
Like the color black and white.
& my fish bee hoon, jeff chang, and other stuff.
But the mian point is, i don try other stuff.
and now, im itching to go jeff's concert.. jus to hear it live.
i love to feel the pain when he sings.
He reminds me too much.
But although better to forget, i rather live thru it again,
and learn thru my mistakes AGAIN.
(the 'lessons' u learn will be forgotten also wat!)
aiya.. no1 knows wat i toking abt also.
haha.

im still having weird dreams, and yes, i wake up and stare at the ceiling too.
wth rite.

seriously ar, my mense is killing me now. But on the other hand, i hope its my mense tt gif mi this stupid attitude.
I mean hello!!
I went Genting when im suppose to be studying for CF.
I slack and throw my temper when im suppose to be studying for PBF.( i left 18mks black)
I went for slacking session, seisha, bday party and movie when im suppose to be studying for POA.(I left 25mks blank)
And now, im here complaining abt my menses and sort of made up my mind not to go for exam tml.
Its not reaaly becos i dono how to do la... i jus don ve the mood.

.... im gg to call gene now and cry.
mood swings.
f* menses.

i dono wat the hell im doing here ranting n ranting.
oh oh... one more thing.. i realise tt soon my life will be like robotic.
and sad to say, it was wat i was looking forward and now, im having second tots.
i dono if it is the first i want so much.
... ... ... ... ... .... ....
the rest will be recorded in my brain.

-the end-
menses suck.

2008-02-19T14:01:00.002+08:00

ewww... i jus realised tt this yr is not a very good yr to start out wif!
so many people sick!! But luckily, all are recovering. including mi!! i hate bodyaches!

so now, its already in the middle of Feb. Plans were delayed becos we were too sick to carry them out.

CNY... nth much to blog abt. Jus aint my thing la... keep fighting wif gene also. well.. we should learn to respect each other la..

Gatherings are always fun! I forget which CNY day was that la.. but i played (even though i was sick) 21-pts wif gene's family.. he won alot in the end. So we continue wif zf, xy, jack and yl over at xy place. He won again... we learned a new game.
After tt gathering, life was quite boring again.
I forget there was sch!

Actually, its not tt i wanna forget, it jus slip my mind! And seriously, i find gg to sch a very tedious thing to do. esp. when we start planning to leave lect for food.. den at the end of the day, i feel might as well not come for lect ma.. the bus fare, train fare and the food money!
oh well... i decided tt I WILL NOT PON ANY OF MY REV CLASSES.
*DETERMINED*

Talking abt sch stuff.. poly and Uni is really a biggg_________gapppppp diff.
normally we can glance at a formula during poly days and we understand it. Now, the study guide explain one whole(sometimes 2 pg) but i still don get it. or rather.. mayb i realli jus cant be bothered.

arrrgghh, i suddenly remb why im blogging here. Last nite, my good bro bought home a BUNCH of friends. I tot they will eat gamble and home they go! BUT noooo~~ they stayed over and i couldnt sleep a wink! I mean i seriously cant slp u noe! im a very light sleeper so when there are noises, it makes mi feel so irritated PLUS gene came over to study for TODAY exam and it makes mi more freaking irritated to know tt its so noisy for him to study. So i woke up at 7am. the last straw btw, came from my mum who feels the need to compete wif the younger ones(who also btw, were jus quietening down). and gene's home sweet home. i slept like a log wif very weird dreams!

oh oh... talking abt dreams. I had one last fri.. i was sleeping. den i dreamt 2 unknown 'thing'. i say 'thing' cos they really look like monster to mi. 1 was planning to hit mi wif 'something' and he counted to 80! i mean.. if u are gg to hit mi, pls do not count! jus get it done and over wif! and the other one seems more like a vampire to mi. he keep aiming my throat. so wat happens when u have such lovely dreams? You wake up and stare at the ceiling. -.-

and this morn dreams was abt a devil. yaya.. devil the satan! he keep doing alot of stuff for mi to get greedy and make a wish.. but the good lil angel (ME) did not and fought him back by looking for GOD. hey, wat can i do? of cos i look for the MAN. and so i forget the ending... but i won.

talking abt devil ar... i seem to be one. haha. sometimes ar.. really.. i sld jus accept tt im a human also la... fel ar fel.. not everything is so auto de. i cant jus place my f* standards onto ppl. oh well... this has always been my prob. will get over it!

next up... V-day! nth much cos we were both thinking abt EXAMS. n besides, we booked Genting tt day. yippee! Genting. but seems like i might be forcing it too much. i mean time is not on my hands ar! oh well... let nature take its course.. i will handle it ONE BY ONE. jus be happy now.

oh ya... happiness doesnt fall down from the sky. it is jus made up of those lil lil moments. if u try to create it, it might not turn out the way u wan it, hence... disappointment. so relax.. enjoy and u will feel fun and happy!

i realised.. my blogging style is becoming more and more random. i jus blog watever tt comes into mind. yep... so now... im gone. bye.

1.5hr more.. i might have my fish bee hoon ta bao over by my darling! NO1 CAN TAKE MI AWAY FROM MY FISH BEE HOON!!!

2008-01-28T12:38:00.000+08:00

Im blogging now becos im soooo freaking pissed.
WHO ARE YOU TO SAY THAT ABT ME.
are you at my house 24/7 to monitor mi?
jus becos u are holy and respected doesnt gif u the right to judge.
I HAVEN EVEN HAD A FREAKING EXAM FOR THIS SCH YET.
AND YOU ARE JUDGING.
YOU ACT AS IF WE OWE YOU SOMETHINGS.
would anyone say no to Santa?
so if u wanna be santa, shut ur gap.
ASKING UR OPINION BECOS WE RESPECT YOU DOESNT GIF U A RIGHT TO JUDGE.

Idiot.

2008-01-24T23:41:00.000+08:00

Today is Jan 24th.

This will be a very very long entry (i hope. heehe)

Firstly, (i forget when was the last time i go, so i shall go refresh my memory)
...
....
.....

okies, so it was abt Unlce Lee.

So now, i shall blog abt my uninteresting life.

Celebrated sissy&actionpact's first yr(17thNov2007) tgt in Sentosa.
We watched the musical show, ate some buffet from the hotel(which tasted like shit) and basically slack there. but it was a good slacking time for us too, since we have been having a lil probs. But its all settled now. (:
We xchange gifts and i was glad i bought tt wallet for him, cos my intention was not to show how pricey or wat brand it is. I jus wanted to get him something nice and presentable so he can use it for the next 30YRS!! heehe...
and my dumb dumb bought me a pair of earrings from SK and he paid for the chalet and mic expenses. All n all he spend MORE THAN MI ok!!
so, THANKS DUMB DUMB!

The next exciting day was for XMAS, but it was not exciting at all. I had some other things in my mind. and i forced gene not to go his mum's family celebration--well..sort of la. like i say, i had some other things on my mind(read: Books).
anw, we borrowed the car and went to town for a movie.
so again, THANKS DUMB DUMB for understanding my weird temper and for all the troubles.

Next up will be NY eve, which was spent celebrating Zhen Feng's birthday. The first among us to be 21!! We sang K and mi and gene went down to countdown and we helped Huang Wen Yong take a pic!! heehe.. and then... we went home.

Actually, im more homely now. Its not tt i love sitting at the living room wif my parents. Its jus i need to STUDY! and many friends ve told mi tt i'm putting too much stress on NTH! but if u guys have seen me studying for my Os, mayb u will noe this aint counted as stressing up already. Anw, wat i really want to say is..

Now tt i've grown up (21st this yr), my thinking would ve to change. I often wonder abt this qns tt 'a friend frm e past' had asked,
'Wat ve u accomplish thruout ur 21yrs?'
i asked this qns many times but dumb dumb cldnt realli reply me. he could onli say 'car lience'. and tt was it? haha... how pathetic right?
But wait wait.. wat abt me den? I ve no car license, no biz under my name, no nth!
The best thing tt ever happened to me was passing my Os. I realli gave my everything tt time and so i hope to give everything i can now.

My view on life:

Give it ur all while u can. Don look back and regret.
Thou im not saying tt ur(our) life will be so wonderful and regret-less.
Try to make it the minimum la!

Okies, now for the resolution for 2007(hey! its nv too late for this!)

1. Change my temper
2. Make sure i complete wat i sld b4 the exams
3. Set a clearer path for myself
4. Get a cleaer view for dumbdumb n mi
5. Spend time w/ friends!!

Random-ness: Last sun i threw my temper in front of my friends. Not at them, its at him.
Dumb Dumb, i dono how u do it. U can jus tolerate me thru all the countless explosion. Im changing, i am. Its always been a prob for mi cos my mood change too fast. But im willing to change.
You also have stuff tt u need to change, so we do it tgt k?
Watever things we need to say to each other, ve been said.
so tt's all for u.
:)(:

i wanna make 1 pt even clearer.. I AINT STRESSING OVER NTH OR GG OVERBOARD. its jus i aint smart to begin wif. and i truely belief u earn wat u give. So, even though im nervous and scare till i cant breath properly and need pills to calm mi down, I noe when to relax and make time off for myself. I jus don wan to go thru tt dark period again. if u dono wat im refering to, my score for prelims Os are 28;33(or something like tt). Imagine the stress i was gg thru tt time. That was my dark period. Something i will remb and wanna avoid thru MY WHOLE LIFE.

okies, something for my pillars(who are all in NS now)
Thanks u two for standing by me. Thou Isk, u scare mi soooooooo freaking much till i got stomach flu!!! But thanks for all the support and laughter u guys!
My Pillars for LIFE!!

randomness again: my life transform itself since my poly life. From my past exp, i learnt to accept(not how to let go) and i learn tt some things cant be forced. I learn tt being tgt wif a bf doesnt mean i cant make time out for friends. and recently, i have been rejecting gg out wif him becos i wanna study. heehe.. even now as im typing, i wanna go back to my books. I learn tt things might not work out the way u plan and u can onli do ur utmost and hope for the best. Cos some things are really out of ur control. I learnt my flaws and im trying to change it. I became more str8-forward den i like to be. I learnt not to take things for granted, so dumb dumb..i will change. Jus like u say-it will take time. =)

oh oh.. my pri sch friend is always ahead of us. he's now a husband and father. wat i wanna say is.. IM GLAD IM NOT THE ONE! heehe..

Almost last but not least(heehe, u think its ending, huh?), if i don ever blog again till Aug/Sept.. PLS DON LUFF AT ME IF I DIN DO WELL FOR EXAMS! I WILL CRY!!

okies! Lastly!!! I WISH EVERYONE HAPPY AND WELL! AND BIRTHDAY PARTY IN MAY! MAKE URSELF FREE FOR MI PLSSSS!! heehe..

<33 Muacks!!
(this post was not edited AT ALL)

2007-11-09T01:18:00.000+08:00

This story happened quite a while ago. (Sorry i aint up-to-date) but it really makes me feel sad and disgusted that this really had happened here in Singapore.

Notice how he asked for his well deserved pay? How much is S$10 to those UK man? Why did they have to do this to an old man? They are really sadist. In one of the youtube description of the video, it was quoted that one of the guys who did this simply say he was 'insensitive'. HELLO! INSENSITIVE?! Those 3 guys took a ride in an 67-yr old ah pek's trishaw and WANTS TO AVOID PAYING!!! i do not think insensitive is the right word to use.

And and... i didnt know a trishaw could take 3 full grown adults! Uncle Lee(the trishaw uncle) has already exceeded his limits! Those man should have given him more for tips!! Not criticising him for being slow!!!

Seriously i can rant on and on about this.. but what's the point now? esp when Uncle Lee is not angry with them anymore.

People... whoever is reading this..
I know people our age frequents Clarke Quey. PLEASE! IF YOU SEE HIM... HELP HIM OUT.
of cos, i dont mean just giving him MONEY! Let's not pity him.. He doesnt need our pity. He is able. And btw, i really admire the fact that he is working for himself and not begging! Ask him to take u for a short short ride, maybe from a traffic light to another traffic light? =)

Uncle Lee came to our attention becos of this incident. If I didnt know better, i guess everytime i step into Clarke Quey, I would only head towards MOS. My head filled wif excitement, thinking about the dancefloor, music and drinks. Perhaps I had already saw his old man before, pedalling on the road. But couldnt care enough to know him..

How many Uncle Lee are there out there?

2007-10-27T15:14:00.000+08:00

Its been a long time.

Life is pretty much the same. But i think i need to buck up on my studies. been asking friends for notes. heehe.
But its really a drag when u have to travel one hr to sch.
Luckily i haf some good friends in sch.
Not to forget, my Chen Feng is taking 2 modules with me!!!

Oh! Newest addition to my life - -

My sweet lil baby... heehe... wanted W580i initially.
But what the heck, i love this color!
So... that costed me a bomb. uhh.
gotta save again for my trip.

to end this off - -

2007-09-20T23:14:00.000+08:00

THIS IS EUGENE'S RESULTS! NOW U KNOW WHY I CANT STAND TALKING TO HIM!!!

You Scored an C

You got 5/10 questions correct.

Your English mistakes aren't exactly forgivable. They're downright embarrassing.

It's time to hit the books. There are many grammar rules that you need to memorize.

Your writing comes off as illiterate, and your improper education is rearing its ugly head.

For your friends' sakes, polish things up a bit. Then they'll be proud to show their friends your words.

The It's Its There Their They're Quiz

2007-09-20T23:06:00.001+08:00

You Scored an A

You got 10/10 questions correct.

It's pretty obvious that you don't make basic grammatical errors.
If anything, you're annoyed when people make simple mistakes on their blogs.
As far as people with bad grammar go, you know they're only human.
And it's humanity and its current condition that truly disturb you sometimes.

The It's Its There Their They're Quiz

2007-09-20T22:51:00.000+08:00

Your Dream Engagement Ring Has a Heart Diamond!

You wear your heart on your sleeve, so of course you should also wear it on your ring.A heart diamond is the perfect choice for highlighting your passionate disposition.Only a true romantic can get away with wearing this ring. Luckily, that's you.And only a true romantic can give you this ring, so make sure you find him...!

What's" Your Dream Engagement Ring?

2007-09-15T00:48:00.000+08:00

is it too much to ask?

2007-09-14T04:12:00.000+08:00

you see... nth really happen.
its jus a feeling that keeps dragging u down.

when u don feel secure,
u try to reach out and question.. hoping for an ans.
when u feel tired,
u jus wanna pull some1 close to u and jus lie there.
when u feel happy,
u want someone there, ready to show u the exact joy u have in ur eyes.

when u feel angry,

u hope for someone with a clear stand, to show u clearer directions.

when u feel sad,
u want someone there to lend u a listening ear and jus let u vent and whine.
when u feel lost,
u hope someone would give u directions.. and for once, listen and not question.
when u feel disappointed,
u wish someone would jus show u a change.
and when u feel insecure, tired, happy, angry, sad, lost and disappointed,
what u really need is for someone's understanding; someone to be there..
not just fake words or empty promises that will bring u much much more hurt.

how many times will one be stupid?
i seriously don ve an ans to that qns but i aint gg to test the limits as well..
how can u lie to someone who had been thru it all b4?
i wun say im immune.. i would rather jus not care frm now.
when i noe its not my cup of tea, why would i wanna go for it?
well... i tot it might be diff..

oh well.. im actually fine wif it.

=)(=

with you, i wish for a shoulder.
without you, i have my own shoulders.

2007-09-14T04:09:00.000+08:00

Broken by ~f3ark1t

I can’t breath
I want to but no air comes out
I want to speak but no words come out
Why do I feel... hurt?
I feel betray
I feel like love had forgotten me
Like God only help those who have love
My heart hurts
My heart feels like a thousand needles went through my chest
and now it’s bleeding slowly for me to die
Why
Why when I try to move my hands to touch the ground I can't
Touch the ground
Just to know it’s still there Just to know I am still alive
Broken I feel like a broken doll Shatter into pieces
Pieces all over the floor
With no one there to put me back together...no one...Will fix me
No one will love me
No one will help me breath
not feel things that is real
not to even to tell me that I’m alive

2007-09-11T12:06:00.000+08:00

I was looking thru the rooms again..
Found one room at BB 289 and they are looking for students.
1 week ago, i would smile from ear to ear and start calling.

but now, i guess yishun will be a better choice.
i've got 4 kids in yishun now.
Maybe 1 more coming in sembawang.

Im going to work work work and WORK !!

2007-09-11T00:16:00.000+08:00

Here comes another post!
But cant really tell how the post is gg to be like... cos im jus gg to vent and vent...

First up: SCHOOL has started and im already lagging behind in both my foundation units. I will catch up but i jus feel its a bad start.

Next, WORK has increased! I jus accepted another tuition assignment.. which rounds up to 7 students now! BUT!! Im only earning very lil... for the 7 days work. Thou i sld be contented.. however..

TROUBLE BREWS! So i need the money. Im still thinking.. Planning carefully...
No mistakes allowed! I enjoy the idea, not jus cos of the 'trouble' but the new environment will keep me busy. So i warmly welcome it. Jac says im independent. Chen Feng strongly disagrees.
So... wat's ur take?

haha... don bother. cos it doesnt matter to me.
MY TAKE IS ALL IT COUNTS!
=p

YAN LIN is coming back soon~ Dec27 rite? Purposely make it after xmas rite? But I WAN XMAS GIFT FROM AUSSIE!!! heehe...

dono how much we have drift, but seriously, don u think we have grown closer somehow? (=
I MISS YOUU!! COME BACK SOON!

now... I savour the feeling, enjoy it. Now sweet has turned to sour.
Hope has turn to a burden.
Though u might not understand, you could have ask till u do.
Though u may not have encounter similar situations.. WHO HAS IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME?
state ur stand, make it clear and start attacking. why mus u be a stand-less person?
Though u claim u r sorry, how many times have i heard of it?
how many times exactly? but is there a action between all tt lines of sorryS?

I tried and i cooled. I gave and i took. In the end, it's jus something to hope for.
Something that is so vague now. I don even dare to hope.
Attitudes changed within a short one yr.
How do u expect to carry on forever?
I gave examples and i slept thru wif tears.
But do u really listen and took it in?
It leaves an unsloved mystery.
However much i hate myself for doing tis,
i have to; in order to stop history.
If u cant understand my fear, u cant understand me at all.
and my fear is wat, u threw out to the wind.
Thus, u threw mi out as well.

It will all be for the better.

Something to lighten up the mood!

I jus finished my VODKA! Heehe... After a yr i bought it!!
im actually drinking it up now as i type. But hey! No spelling mistakes!!
Im drinking it on the rocks now..but its burning my throat and my stomach. Or is it cos i have a weak stomach? Haha..
Now where do i go to get my fix?
its back to 7-11 days~~

Oh ya! IKEA has a new catalogue!
I wonder how many ppl live and eat wif it now.
They have really good stuff!

A drawer for PRINTERS!
A BIG BIG Work Table!
ALOT OF DINNER WARES!

And~~~

Last but not least!!!

The side table i have been looking for!
It's back again!!
And its only $19!
But its abit far for mi lei... to go all the way.
Oh well...
Let's see how things go.. i can make my way there if im bored.
haha..

Okies! oh ya... lastly.......

i forget a BIG HELLO to all people out there!

When u feel love, u feel peace.
When u dont, u don even noe how death felt like..

2007-08-09T14:24:00.000+08:00

Its National Day!
And im sooo bored at home.

Tuition for later is cancelled. and replaced for a fri session.
Pri sch SA are coming but my students are still on holiday mood.
I got stared for giving him 9 sums for homework due on SUN.
Great~

MOS later with VIP passes. But no1 wans to go wif mi...
Exam time for POLY students as well...

How great life is~

2007-07-01T12:11:00.000+08:00

sometimes, feelings jus aint right.. why?
Becos i expect too much and becos im selfish.

eventhough, when 2 person are together, they should put themselves
in each other shoes,
how often can we do that?
There are times i neglected his feelings too. And there are times i did it on purpose.
He keep asking me to take things slowly but his actions always need me to do things quickly.
He says.. as long as u put ur faith in me. everything will be fine.
But how would i know if history will repeat.
I aint taking that chance.
I would rather be a selfish person.

2007-04-26T21:08:00.000+08:00

HELLO!

Long long time din blog already.
I owe lin jie jie my bkk post.
haha...
so this post will be long long long.

so last mth i went to bkk wif mr. eug chan.
on tt day itself i din realli wanna go,
cos of all the -ve comment abt thailand.
but i din wanna waste money so i went.
on the train i msged lin jie jie also.
'jus in case, happy birthday', i told her.
haha...
but when i reached the airport - -BUDGET TERMINAL,
i vommited. haha.. i car sick man.
oh well...
den i don feel well le...
n gene keep saying i weak.
wtf.
the budget terminal is so budget. wahaha... everything is so... practical.
n NOTHING IS FREE. haha...
oh well...
AND we have to line up to board the plane.
den.. off we fly~
but b4 we land.. i felt the air pressure.
and man! tt wasnt a great feeling.
i tot my ear will bleed lei... like tt zoe tay n chen han wei show. the millieum(wrong spelling) bug.
haha... and i hold gene's hand very tight.
anw... nth happened la.. landed fine n we were early too!

den we took booked a cab to our hotel. We stayed at SAMRAN PLACE.
and at the same time, booked a tour for Grand Palace...
but i prefer F&E lei... felt so tied down after we booked the tour.
but anw... the hotel was very basic! but we din expect much for such a lil amt we were paying.
den we walked around our hotel IN SEARCH OF A MASSAGE PLACE.
we walked damn far man!
den we cabbed back n realised there was one right at the door step of our hotel.
very -.-
haha...

aiya.. i tired le.. shall continue it another time!
wahaha...

-To Be Continue-

2007-03-10T01:06:00.000+08:00

i think i have finally found what i am going to do already.
hope everything will turn out alright.
anyway.. if it doesnt...
i can always cry.
haha..

when i come back from bkk...
its time to open n pack all my stuff..
and in the meantime...
i will re-write my resume..
n send out again.
i can work part time till sch starts.

first time in many many yrs
i don feel like working...
but its either working or slacking at home for half day...
and get nag.
so working seems like a far better choice.

so work it is!

2007-03-06T20:37:00.000+08:00

i went ikea the other day wif my parents n gene.
bought over $2oo+ but pay only $180+
at first my mum tot we overpaid den we realised...
heehe..
anw... that trip was a bargain!

right now... im still deciding which uni to go into.
local unis are out of the qns...
no pt pinning onto empty hope.
so might as well go stra8 into SIM or some other unis.
my godma said Curtin is good..?
is it?
i thought UOL is better.. common... but better?

i cant make up my mind...
and i need to make up my mind before i go to BKK.

oh ya... the long awaited BKK trip.
Hope we make it back alive.. n unharm.
haha... pls pls pls hold back the attacks at BKK, PLS!

i wanna get away... needed this trip..
n for this trip i haven been spending money at all.
no shopping.. no good food.. no clubbing...
ya... no clubbing for 3 mths already!
the last time was LAST YEAR!
my boi missed it.. i missed it..
but we gotta hold on..

gene is in genting now wif his friends.
n im relaxing at home these 2 days..
i realli needed the short short break.
i haven pig like this since..... erm.. pri sch?
haha.. i remb i used to eat as much as my dad.

FRIENDS FRIENDS friends~~~
where are u??
come out come out where ever u are~~
time for gatherings~~~

2007-02-12T13:42:00.000+08:00

2 more papers and my batch are un-offically grads.
3 yrs past by like light.
oh man.. i dono how i will react after the last paper.
its not abt the stuff u are gg to do after ur poly... like uni or work.
but its the emotions tt are going thru urself the moment the paper ends and u realise this might be the last time u will be seeing some people.
since i am always the last one coming out of the exam hall or classroom..
i expect to see kian, isk and the rest standing there discussing ABIT abt the paper.
and there will be a 'WHOO~' and den off we go... makan or home.
den as i walk down the pathway.. i will see jac. dear jac..
and some other people tt came across my poly life one way or another.
i feel like hugging every single one of u.
within 2 weeks... there are so many good-byes...
scary lei...

yan lin jus left for aussie. i really feel happy for her.. n i admire her brave-ness.
cos partly reason i din go for attachment is becos i was afraid. oh well.. tt has came n pass. so heck care abt tt.
i din think i wld drop tears when she was leaving.. as in.. i was really happy for her..
she gets to experience life and broaden her horizon.
but when she was hugging sau ming and whispering to him.. and when i saw mother n daugther hugging so tightly and her dad serious-ness...
suddenly felt her 'bu she de'.
but LIN AR.. if u manage to read this hor.. i highly doubt so la.. its too ex- to read haha..
JIA YOU K! very fast come back le.. so don look back.. jus enjoy life first.
when u come back.. don scare of facing changes.. u also will change during this time de..
=)(=

anyways... to end this off...
DEAR Friends...
wo bu she de. but life still goes on. for those who know u matters.. no matter how drifted we are.. u still matters. but jus to name a few...
JAC, CF, JERRI and BENTEO... u make my life in poly bearable. whenever i need to bitch, i will see u guys! haha.. so i guess.. u r my bitchy friends who loves XLB!

ISK, pls do not die in army. i love ur reverse pyscho. HAHA... u gan jiong spider~

For u who stand by me thru my dark times and still help mi during my abit bright bright time hor.. really really thank you. ur bcm, western, ecp, alcohol and HUMS, i always remb. ur heaven oways my favourite. the majiong n CHIPCHIP make mi an offical idiot.
but still ur words never fail to make my day. BEST OF LUCK TO U !

oh well... back to staring at my notes.

2007-01-27T00:55:00.000+08:00

HELLO! ! !

Finally back to blog...
lip sin ge ge! thanks for ur msg ar!
heehe...

projs are finally over.
this is by far the worse projs ever!
well... jus glad its all over..
now im only left wif my finals...
n im a graduate.

While looking thru some jobs...
i realise i aint confident at all...
hais.. how ar?

oh well... when the time comes i will noe...

lin jie jie going Aust le..
been trying to meet up as much as possible these few days..
hope i have the money to go over ar!
guess it will b fun if she has the time..

anws.. HELLO again EVERYONE!!

2006-12-24T14:36:00.000+08:00

i guess ppl are jus normally greedy.
I noe if given the way i wan things to be now..
i would trade it for wat i ve now.

so basically.. G.R.E.E.D
n the knowledge that we cant ve all we wan.

its xmas eve.
not feeling well..
aint got the mood.
first time in yrs i dono wat i wanna do for xmas..
first time in yrs i din put in the effort.

i feel guilty towards u.
but i cant do things becos i ve or need to..
i do things becos i wan to..

i hope its jus enluff for u now..

Merry Xmas Everyone !!!!

2006-11-29T12:59:00.000+08:00

i cant find something tt is impt to mi.
and tt feeling sucks.

saying doesnt make it go away.
but keeping quiet sure aint any better.

I jus wan my corner.
block block block.
yi ge ren de shi jie zui mei li.

Saigo ni kimi ga hohoende
Massugu ni sashidashita mono wa
Tada amarini kirei sugite
Koraekirezu namida afureta

2006-11-28T01:58:00.000+08:00

two things.

firstly.
if ppl don care. why sld i?

secondly.
if u cant wait to hear mi say it out loud.
here u go~
I AINT GOING!
happy?
hope tt pleases you eh.
at least one of us is happy.

2006-11-23T05:24:00.000+08:00

I see the difference,
I feel the difference,
but still,
I need more time..

2006-11-19T23:50:00.000+08:00

it feels like you are standing in the middle of a busy road.
all ur friends are walking past you.
all of them in a hurry.
you din call them. din wave.
you jus keep ur hands to urself.
with a slight smile on ur face, in case they notice you are standing there.
and you try ur best not to be in their way.
at this point of time..
all you wanna do is to find a wall.. a corner..
to block out everything.
you don wan to be in the middle anymore.

i wish to be invisible.. i wish to disappear.

2006-11-10T16:08:00.000+08:00

ppl change...
well at least for mi..
n some ppl ard mi.
gone are the days where we will b happy jus to b under the covers of the bed whispering girly stuff to each other.
u changed, i changed.
but i noe if ever sum1 asked u tt qns...
i will noe the ans.
becos its the same for mi.
tt kind of friends is forever..
doesnt matter if we meet anot.

gone also are the days where training is the only thing tt turns mi off...
n looking at him makes mi hyper.
or even my 'wei yi'..
its a good dream.. a nice thing to hope for.
but ke yu bu ke qiu.
how many ppl can get their wei yi?
we don live long enluff to find tt person.
so we settle for sum1 when the need arises to ve sum1 by ur side.
but given my young young age now...
why do i need to find sum1?
cant i haf fun making friends?

Once bitten, twice shy..
it would onli need one bite for mi to wake up
and realise all these.
so why wld i wan to go thru tt again?
no1 can gif mi a definite ans.
no one can tell mi all that wun happen again.
in the end, when it happens..
all i get is a sorry.
n im expected to let u go.
wtf?
i noe its better den having a zombie ard thou.

So can we jus enjoy now? happy as b4?
when everything is so honest n clear?

2006-11-05T13:38:00.000+08:00

got a new phone!!
k610im...
but can anyone tell mi...
is there a ear piece for it??

2006-11-04T03:07:00.000+08:00

im gg to embark on my projects now!
the long awaited projects.
yippee!!

so mayb i was dumb..

but i aint downright dumb..

so all is well.

sldnt even think abt it.

how cld sumthing like dat happen?

sld ve known better..

aint worth it afterall..

2006-10-27T01:01:00.000+08:00

it became clear to mi tt...
i oways wanna hear u say it first..
but u were oways there, not wanting to say it.
den...

n so....

oh well.

been very wrapped up wif my friend's bdayS all week....
rite? all week ba.. i think... i don even remb wat i did...
but i noe... there will b more celebrations nx week...
n im gg broke fast.

i hope i don let ISK down tml...
one for all; all for one.
my heart is there in lect wif u...
even if i cant make it ok?

And this is a msg to kian!
don lose face.
better win.
sincerely or not!
bleah.

2006-10-27T00:50:00.000+08:00

one fine day, i will wake up.
but today tml n the day after is not one fine day.

one fine day will come...
soon.

i jus ve to wait for tt long awaited day.

2006-10-25T02:34:00.000+08:00

i oso dono wat to blog la...
got tons to say actually.
but if i say it, i need to think everything.
n i don feel like thinking everything now.

so gonna leave wif these few words...
For the Fun, Joy & Laughter.
=))

2006-10-22T02:03:00.000+08:00

it might be becos...
i don noe wat i wan also..

2006-10-19T13:12:00.000+08:00

IMF appreciation -
1) Sat outdoor wif the wonderful haze.
2) ate food republic.. dots..
3) the long awaited goodie bag consist of one t-shirt. 1 collar pin (i ve three now). and 1 ez link card which i heard might not b able to use..

Mk bday yest!
so cf, jac, lin (see.. i mentioned!) n a whole bunch of other ppl.. heehe.. too many to be name la..we went to fish & co. at glasshouse. Dinner was fine.. but den MK sang 'love me' on stage la!
=))

Sun celebration for chen feng... my mummy bday lo.
Sat blading ba!! i wanna learn...

2006-10-17T03:46:00.000+08:00

first day of sch n im sick liao
haha..
oh well...
gonna pon the whole week ba..
fri see mood first.

nx week i will b in sch la...
tml IMF appreciation..
gonna see our PM.
whoots!
its realli not often ur PM treats u dinner la..
n there's a goodie bag at the end.
auntie jing shen!
haha...

after appreciation....
yups.
i din prepare for a sudden change of things.
i aint keen to change things too..
i've come so far.
i don wan to b drag into a cycle again.

For ppl who know u guys mean sumthing...
don change ok?
i dono how i can take changes now...
i don wan to feel lost again..
sorry for being selfish eh...

2006-10-14T01:41:00.000+08:00

last nite went down to mos.
din drink much..
dance alot.
cant feel my toes now.
tired but fun.
i wan porridge too..
-.-

2006-10-11T13:59:00.000+08:00

finally watched Imagine Me & You.
Nicee...

Fall again is nice.

my new red shoes are nice too.

Crunch is nice.

Drinks are nice.

My bed is nice.

My new photo frames are nice.

John Tucker is nice.

Counting my blessings...

But
I need a pack of 100 candles.
I need to smell tt in the air.
I need my notice board.
I need my plank.
I need more blading.
I need more time to play..
not tt there is any diff between sch n holis.

I somehow wish holis would end early.
So we can see everyone in sch everyday.
I used to curse when holis are ending.
I cried on the first day of sch. 2 sems ago.
i knew we wld grow apart then.
But i will smile once the last sems of sch starts..
it will be our last.
after tt, the guys will go NS while the gals will slack or go crazy abt U.
i cant believe we are gg into adulthood.
can we handle it?

I can breathe, I can bleed, I can die in my sleep
Cause you're always there in my dreams

2006-10-07T00:49:00.000+08:00

Went ecp again!!
this time cycling cos my shi fu don feel like blading...
cycle to the 'other' side.
den to bedok jetty.
sat n chit chat.
on the way aza fell.
i was behind her.
n i managed to let go of the bic
so i was unharmed.
poor aza... pain pain rite.
tt elbow de sure pain.
cos there will b alot of movement there...
u try not to move tt hand too much ok?

rode back den kian n mi decided to rent a bic again coz the journey to the hawker centre very long.
so we rode there.
order stingray, hum and hor fun and ice cold beer.
i finally ate my hum!
they cook jus nice
n the amt we order oso jus nice.
if not will vomit de.
the beer damn shiok la...
so cooling.

today there is not enluff o2 in the air la...
so diff to breath.
ppl out there
do take care wor!

oh ya... for the kite flying rite.
nx week!
n can we blade too?
i kinda..sortof... miss blading.
i wanna b zai zai on blades lei..
go abit fast fast.

today finally passed by..
this time we were enjoying each other company.
candles n sparkles are still wif mi
but i doubt i will use them again.
wat did u do today?

2006-10-06T00:24:00.000+08:00

i noe y i cant find true love.
becos its oways there.
n i found it now.
but its not for mi.
im jus happy being immerse in it.

=))

2006-10-05T02:01:00.000+08:00

oh ya...

dono who hate mi la...

i think sum1 surely hate mi.

i jus dono who.

sabo mi.

but if u ever get a chance to read this!

THANKS FOR THE OFF DAYS HOR!

I can relax!!

go work ur butt off!

2006-10-05T01:47:00.000+08:00

i waited n waited.
i controlled n controlled.
i cursed n cursed cos time was passing by too slowly.
and we were having dinner.

den finally.. i left hm at 5!
all of them were late.
guess i was too hungry.

once there...
i duno how.
i duno why.
but i managed to psycho ben to pay for mi too!
ben!! if u r reading this...
after 3 freaking long yrs!!
i can finally stop pestering u abt my Korean Meal!
this is a turning point in our friendship!
wahaha.

and so being the hungry ghost i am.
i chionged the fried rice, black pepper beef (its not spicy), sweet sour fish, cheese mussels n sotong first.
accompanied by chuawamuish, fake shark fin soup, n a tons of other stuff.
the whole table was fulled!
we reached there at 6.30.
n my mouth never stop till 9plus.
never stop!
i was so bloated
i went to the toilet n try to puke.
but i jus cant let it out.
so xin ku.

i oso duno wat came over mi...
weird.
it cld b... but mayb not.

wat's worst?
they took a whole plate of cakes n place them in front of moi!
i soooo wanted to eat them but
i realli cant liao.
wasted~
tt thick thick choc cake looks so tempting!

anyways... off we went to walk walk abit.
den home we go!
my mum bought prunes!
heng ar!
so i ate n ate.
den it all came out.
well... not realli all.
still feeling sick.
n my stomach is still making noises.
as usual.

aint feeling well at all...

2006-10-03T22:01:00.000+08:00

one more thing.
i feel like eating steak.
anyone wanna treat?

aiya... 24 bowls of BCM can change anot?
BCM.. not very suitable for mi.
i wanna eat steak~~

2006-10-03T21:42:00.000+08:00

today was an uneventful day.
so i got up n rotted til now.
ok la.. i did pack my table abit la.
i emphasis ABIT.
so if any of u came to my hse these few days,
don kp mi abt my rm.

den my dad said something when we were watching Maggie&Me.
there was this part where Maggie entered Johnny's body.
my dad went 'there ur 7th aunt oso like tt lo yest.'

stunn-ed sia!

my bro n mi jus look at him den we ask him 'realli ar?'
haha...

the whole story is very long la.
basically, there was this spirit.
who is hungry n not very not satisfied wif my uncles la.
den aiya... in the end he is happy n satisfied.
n he say my bro is not bad.
=x

believe in these stuff becos they do exsist.
watch ur mouth.
esp those who like to pui pui pui at things.
do not anyhow spit.
i hate spitters.
oh well...

buffet tml!
fri movie n ecp!
=))

2006-10-03T01:36:00.000+08:00

i was so bored on sat tt i drag ppl to ton wif mi.
haha..
ate bbq fish which is very spicy.
pool. but i din play cos i was chit chatting wif gai.
bomb! not nice... too sweet. i like salty stuff.
den kian's place. mj...
n they make fun of mi.
i was frightened by kian a few times la.
chip chip!
slept a while den go eat liao.
kian drove! n i realise i sldnt learn driving.
cos... im basically a road harzard.
went to ponggol end den took bus hm.
onli managed to slp for 3 hrs den took bus to tamp liao.
i got the job man.
dono sld b happy anot.
but i need the money la...
meet them again at ecp for skating.
fell again at the slope la.
i cant go up the slope.
to think sum1 say i can skate. -.-
gastric till i almost cried la...
but i can tolerate pain.
haha.
siao.

today opening at box.
oh man. b4 i was even there.
there was a long q.
i heard sum1 say i was slow.
pls lo. how to b fast when u need to copy i/c no also??
aiya... but my cash was damn pretty today.
10 pieces of 50 dollars notes.
beautiful.
don ve to count so much.
n i was on the dot!
whoots!!
seldom lei...

den sign in to watch The Banquet.
She forgot that tt title came wif a price la..
daniel wu is soooo man.
if i can ve a date wif him, i will do anything.
jus a date can liao.
haha!!

daniel~~~

2006-09-29T01:23:00.000+08:00

m so tired now...
wat the hell was i thinking?
why did i put 'ANYTIME'?
hais... im a crazy gal.

the coming week one even better.
thurs -opening
fri -off
sat - off
sun - off
mon - opening
tues - opening
wed - opening

i wonder how many days will they gif mi.
haha...
oh well..
actually put for fun oso la..
since i got nth better to do at hm anyway.

2006-09-28T04:20:00.000+08:00

5th sept?
is tt it?
yup... i think its ard there..
i wanted to be there so much.
for you.
u din wan mi to.
as long as u enjoyed tt day...

2006-09-28T03:27:00.000+08:00

today on the train.
i realise time stops for no1.
of cos there are times when i hope they will jus fast forward till when i'm 80 or something.
on the bed.
ready to cross over.
but today.
i jus hope time stops.
stop for a while to let mi think wat i've been doing wif my life.
rite now, im not living life.
life is living mi.
im oways catching up wif time.
so clueless.
of cos ppl will love the morning rush or the feeling of being rushed la.
tt is wat i learn from imf.
but im rushing without knowing wat im doing.
wat is this lil head of mine thinking?
n wat is this emo heart of mine feeling?
but then, how many ppl actually know wat they are doing?
oh well... contridicting again.

contridicting reminds mi of being a Gemini.
my mum is a Gemini too.
so i guess... that is why....
why she is so siao siao sumtimes.
i think i will grow up to b like her.
so if i don like wat she is doing now.
does tt mean i don like myself?
she is toking to her again.
i mean after almost 3 yrs?
haha... life n its stupid games.
but i think mum is trying too hard.
we survive those 3 yrs din we?
while on the other hand,
i jus cant be bothered abt those stuff.
mi n her nv tok anymore.
it used to hurt alot.
so much so tt... when one thing reminds mi of her.
i changed.
well.. not anymore.
perhaps... i will feel this way too for him after 3 yrs?
anyway...
if he's happy now.
wat more can i wish for?

i jus don like to do those superficial stuff la.
like asking 'how r u?' when i don even care abt ur ans.
hais... but life or rather humans are superficial so
in the end, i still have to do it.

life sucks. take mine away anytime...

2006-09-28T02:54:00.000+08:00

is it love?
or is it pinning too much hope on sum1 but feelings are not reciprocated?
and unable to accept that, u hold on & on & on?

argghhh... why is it still so complicated when its long over?

im sorry for not being truthful.
oways be true....

everytime i see you im alive..
you're all i've got
you lift me up.
the sun n moonlight
all my dreams are in your eyes
^^

2006-09-27T21:39:00.000+08:00

today jus suck.
sorry jac!
haiyo...
i din noe... today was gg to be a so dots.. de.

well... anw.. got the shorts.
dinner wif kian.
tt's abt it.

i still cant braid my hair.
-.-''

work tml again.
wonder if its good.
as in i dono the staff there liao.
so sian....

you nv ask...

when others are asking..

you jus keep quiet abt it.

. . .

2006-09-26T01:03:00.000+08:00

why am i feeling this way?
it cant be...

2006-09-25T13:54:00.000+08:00

My Immortal Lyrics
by Evanescence

i'm so tired of being here
suppressed by all my childish fears
and if you have to leave
i wish that you would just leave
'cause your presence still lingers here
and it won't leave me alone
these wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just too much that time cannot erase

[chorus]

when you cried i'd wipe away all of your tears
when you'd scream i'd fight away all of your fears
i held your hand through all of these years
but you still haveall of me
you used to captivate meby your resonating life
now i'm bound by the life you left behind
your face it haunts
my once pleasant dreams
your voice it chased away
all the sanity in me
these wounds won't seem to health
is pain is just too real
there's just too much that time cannot erase

[chorus]

i've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
but though you're still with me
i've been alone all along

[chorus]

2006-09-25T13:20:00.000+08:00

Queensway Shooping Centre rocks sia.
i wan the shorts n the top.
haha.
Uncle F.M got 2 shirts.
Kian got 1 shirt which i loveeeee too. (wanna spons?)
n his vball shoes.
And may i add, they are very very happy!

too bad the BKT no more liao...
wanted to eat wif kian de...
ended up eating free BCM wif tons of chilli.
I had to go toilet this morning la...
den i almost black out.
sldnt put chilli anymore.
And so, i din buy my notice board yet.
hais... everything haf to pay for myself.
r they blind as to not to see wat job m i doing?
even if i go every week, i wld onli get 120.
-.-
i think they are blind la.
but i cant do anything oso..
so suan le.

Took shuttle bus home from IKEA.
Actually from AMK to IKEA quite fast lei..
wanted to slp on the bus de.
den realise gg to reach liao.
no point.
-.-

I ve oways wanted to do tt.
i nv had the courage.
but last nite i did.
n the result was the same.
perhaps it will nv b the same anymore.
i jus cant bear to throw it away.

2006-09-23T18:43:00.000+08:00

Imf ended.
Friends are made.
Cute year Ones.
Silly FMs.
Cant wait for 17th Oct to meet them again.
n him la... haha.. but i got a feeling he wun be coming la.
or even if he do come, we wun get to tok.
My gut feeling has oways been accurate.
so no promises for pics ok!

aiyah... gut feeling hor..
have, i feel sad.
sad becos wat i felt n came true are mostly not very good stuff.
don haf i wish i haf a clue.
from the past to present.
Like how i noe things will not work out for us.
To knowing i will not b seeing him in the rest area.
or knowing i will see him in the rest area.
hais...
watever the case,
this tell u ppl tt gals 6th sense is very accurate ok!

Perhaps after 20yrs,
there will be another gathering
'S2006 after 20yrs'
by den, i will be old. wrinkles.
haha.. mayb wif babies. mayb not.
oh man... i realise im geting random.
bleah.
okok..

so after wed, work on thurs again!
at jimmy neutron.
wif kian n isk.
wif my pillars around, of cos im slacking la.
haha..
but i had fun.
sadly, this fri de onli got one space left.
n kind isky gave tt space to mi.
haha...
after working, although we are all sticky n smelly.
jac n mi... we STILL headed down to marina sq.
how many times haf we been there?
haha...
den we finally got our first LEVIS.
whoots! new arrival summore lei!
same design, same color.
i realise this week tt jac n mi haf the same taste.
u make a good shopping partner!
if u r not tired of trying the clothes la!!
haha..

so now, basically im even more broke den i m before.
so pls if u guys got lobang on work hor.
intro!!
hehee...

And so fri woke up very late.
thanks to sum1 who failed to wake mi up the nite b4.
-.-
haha... aiyah... since u already acc mi study n go for the test.
i forgive u liao. :x
so u are the first one who know the good news.
but sadly, u were not amazed. or happy for moi.
huh. duno sld b happy or sad lei.
cos hor tt means u got confident in mi lei.
but u aint sharing my joy.
except for tt ice cream.
onli 2 ppl noes abt this.
and they are my 2 pillars.
can we pls keep it to ourselves first?
sun celebration ok?
make it a delayed celebration for all of us ok?
we haven celebrate our ALL PASS in our exams also lei..
i wan FUN FUN FUN.
ecp soon?

aza... don mia!
i don wan things to change!
nx week ok?

aiyah.. now u working shift work.
kian working too. plus got vball training n his fav past time - fishing.
isky acc gf n work his sg mint.
wa got his 18 or 19 movies. which he don wanna share!!
aiyo~
y u all so busy de ar?
haha...

2006-09-21T00:26:00.000+08:00

i will make this entry short n sweet.

his name is alvin.
chinese. (i knew it!~)
president of ... some club la...
third yr SP student.
quiet n shy.

he din come today.
but his friends are very enthu abt tis.
-.-

sliva or sumthing is funny.
i think he kinda reminds mi of isky.

dinner is ok.. cos mb i duno how to apreciate the food la.

levis services suck.

tt's all.

good nite ppl.

Thrills?

2006-09-20T00:47:00.000+08:00

One more thing.
Im so glad my 2 pillars are with me.
thank God.
=D

n i realli cant wait to see my eye candy.
heehee...

2006-09-20T00:32:00.000+08:00

and before i forget.
two mint sweets fell into the sg river.
killing a few fishes.
the killer is still at large.

2006-09-19T23:53:00.000+08:00

Tml is the last day of IMF.
10 days flew by just like tt.
finally our legs can rest.
finally we can slp longer.
finally we don haf to crack our heads cos we haf 2hrs breaks.
but finally... jus when we got use to this routine...
everything is coming to an end.

There were so many stupid funny amazing things that happened.
From being a cripple, to using ossim chairs, to visiting isk at his booth, to cracking heads during breaks, to searching for eye candy, aiyoooo uncountable.

Classic one: "Xiao jie wo mei you kong, (pass mi name card). Call me."
damn dots.

hais... last day means last day to see eye candy.
sld i carry out my plan?
even though i say i will...
i think i will not la.
like dian so long liao...
today also dian.
dian dian dian until i dian dao other ppl.
-.-
ok la... this shall be another interesting thing tt happen to mi during IMF.

oh ya.... BOOM BOOM BOOM!!!
Fireworks with a view!!
at first i saw tt edge near Merlion litted up.
den i ask jac wat was tt...
as in so far the delegates also cant see, light it up for wat rite?
den BOOM BOOM BOOM.
Jo was shocked la..
everyone moved back.
cos it was VERY VERY CLOSE.
Jac was like stun too.
cant see eve...
haha...
may i emphasis again...
CLOSE. VERY VERY UP CLOSE & PERSONAL.
i will never get this view again.
n the person i wanna watch it with wasnt there...
empty feeling...
but it was worth the walk.
if only you were there...

Actually... i oso wanna be wif him my dear...
but can we? nope.
wat can we do? nothing.
memories are to be kept in our hearts remember?
we are moving on, remember?
Don look back... its really no point.
stay strong, we are all here wif u..
=)

2006-09-18T21:46:00.000+08:00

i tried.... so many jeans today can.
but i still love tt jeans la.
isky becos of u. i wanna buy tt jeans
BECOS OF YOU!

ended work very early.
but i think i need to make up for it tml la...
the bad thing abt this imf is.. the timing is oways unknown.
you onli get to know wat time u end when ur FM tells you.

tis morn i tot work will be very boring...
den when i came back from pan pac.
i was elated!!
there he was.
haha.. wif his yellow crumpleR bag.
hehe...
but tdy he looked at jac.
TWICE.
4 drinks jac~
haha..

hais...
sian...
i wanna go shopping.
where is the money?!

2006-09-18T00:11:00.000+08:00

today... damn slack la..
very slack.. for jac n mi.
we went shopping for 4hrs.

we were at pan pac doing....nth.
haha... den tt song came on..
i almoooost lost it.

anw, WU suddenly appear when i was in the rest area.
when i jus woke up. the timing jus nice.
den mi n jac face each other. haha...

den when we went back to the rest area after the shopping break.
there he was again.
but not b4 i ... em... let's jus say i made jac a happy gal tdy.
i was stunned too la~
y i like dat ar?
oh man...
too engross~~~~

my position is perfect. perfect view.
he went out den i suddenly siao siao follow him out.
but den i din get to see him la.
he jus disappeared.
den when i came back into the area.
wahaha... he was looking at mi la...
even jac saw it.
n she 'told' me.
but u think i wun notice meh?
tt pair of eyes.. so big. looking at mi.
haha.. oh ya oh ya.. almost bang onto him near toilet. cos it was em.. too squeezy.

but den jac told mi... n he used hp... n .... oh well... don care.
i like the feeling he gives mi when he's ard.
it was a long forgotten feeling...
tt i missed.

tml..will i see u again?

2006-09-15T23:50:00.000+08:00

i jus found out a sweet lil bigger than mi by 10days sister did a very sweet thing for mi.
i felt it was for mi la... cos it applies.
but den i din realli noe it was FOR MI la...
thanks!
but u noe.. sumtimes i duno if u are really into thrill or jus haven put the other one down yet.
but thanks ya.. im touched.
n working hard...

there's this one thing tt happen today tt i wanna say.
u dun haf to go one big round to 'shoot' mi la.
jus becos we cant communicate well n thus u got the wrong meaning...
doesnt realli gif u the right to 'shoot' mi back.
-.-
abit tired keeping up the pretence la.
5 more days~
i prefer the plan now to sit in the room.
cos my darling soulmate is there...
so easy toking to u la.
oh man... i think i will miss u when the whole thing ends..
cos i realise we nv go out tgt de..
shall we try?
wed is the last day n wed is ...
if u noe mi den u noe wat wed is la...
haha...
ask our 'sister' along !

okies... a lil of interesting thing from the event.
i saw him. a WU guy. but others do not see wat i see la.
its tt aura again. the aura i see in him before.
his side profile damn attractive to mi la..
i can jus stare for hours i think.
he likes to listen to songs too.
he have a crumple yellow bag.
he likes to dress in black.
or is tt his uni colour?
he has the malay malay look. (again..~)
he looks man when he folds tt sleeve up.
he looks familiar... except he has more build.
suddenly feel like calling out tt name to see if he's him.
i never hear his voice b4.
don even noe his actual race. haha...
but we accidentally dian each other twice.
haha... i hope i got dian dao him la.
opps... hehe...
n i caught him looking at moi direction when i was looking at tt gal.
whoots!
but its jus a passing thing la.
paths does not cross at all...
n i mei you yi tai when i powl over the table to slp.
oh well... its jus an interest during this event la.
haha...

its jus one of those things tt keeps life going...

oh ya... i wan tt GUESS top so much... but i onli will get the 30% if i hit $150.
anyone wanna share?
i wan i wan~~

2006-09-14T15:28:00.000+08:00

For the Fun, Joy & Laughter.

This shall be our group motto ok!!!

2006-09-14T14:12:00.000+08:00

im bored lei...
skipping imf is not a good choice.
hais....
n i still need to produce a MC.
-.-
why volunteer need to produce Mc ar?

wah.. i jus put my lappy on my tummy to type hor.
n the heat from the lappy is damn nice for my tummy la..
shiok.

woke up 2 plus cos my cramps damn bad la...
den hug my pillow to sleep again.
den alarm went off 5am.
woke up bath and call jac to say im not gg.
-.-
i seriously duno wat the hell i was doing la.
msged esther.
den went back to slp.

i tot i slept till very late la...
but guess wat. it was onli 11 plus when i woke up.
i seriously duno wat im doing lei...
sldnt i slp more?
crazy mi.

den i slacked wif mobtv n bu yao shou bao qian till now.
hais... the others gg shopping n eating.
im not gg. i din noe until isk called mi la...
-.-
oh well... rest..
in peace.

zai ji mo li shang bei

2006-09-13T00:31:00.000+08:00

its 13th again...
how fast time past...
continue this way pls.
haha..

2006-09-13T00:13:00.000+08:00

Imf makes mi tired...
the food doesnt taste tt nice too..
but if dun grumble den still can eat la.
furthermore... im broke.
Im legs are numb for now.
Pain till numb liao.
Acutally was already numb on Mon la..
but see the gang hor! Mi damn happy so din felt it until i reach hm la!
Nasi Ayam at hougang plaza is the best!!
Becos i don realli take chilli.
Kian Loves it too la.
but the rest say not very nice lei....
its the chilli onli ma... Next time we tabao the lucky plaza chilli to hougang eat la!
if that pleases all of u la!
My dear isky came down to look for mi on Mon la.
He damn kuku la... haha
kena police check until like tt
haha..
n isky, u bring mi to the wrong way la!
haha!!
After eating our nasi ayam, went to play pool a while..
long time no play liao.. suddenly gian again. but broke now. haha. shitty.
isk vs kian. isky lost. heart pain cos i luff too hard. no la... i heart pain isky lead A WHILE and kian caught up. Isky i support u la! (even thou u said wat u said in ur blog hor!)
WIPE THAT IRRITATING SMUG OFF KIAN'S FACE K!

no win TOTO. but r we giving up?
haha...

went hm n isky slept like a baby la...

Second day at imf is BORING too la...
no cases except for tt JS guy. damn cute la.
he wanted to scan den we gave him this no.
tt operator gave him another no.
so he called.
n guess wat?
he said "Oh Jesus, tt's my own helpdesk!"
haha... so cute.

I missed the gang la....
one day no see how to survive 3 autumn?
(correct anot?)
Aza!! when ur off day in the 21-27 week ar?? mus let mi noe hor...
n kian too! cos he can request off. den off we go to ecp.
I promise i will keep up. haha. i drag u this time k?
i think u drag mi alot the last time lei.
and hor take good care of ur toes pls.
I miss miss liao la...~

2006-09-10T13:27:00.000+08:00

Sat - Went work. Check the stuff fast fast. But duno y still cant complete lei...
hais.. sian.. Im hoping i am not needed in IMF nx sat. So i can msg boss n tell her i will b able to make it for work. Besides... im realli keen in signing up the class.
Every Saturday. 3-4pm. That means no more skating? or mayb a lil bit later skating k!
So went stra8 to bedok to meet kian first for lunch. Budget Budget 1.90 nasi lemak. den we went to buy TOTO. I hope at least 4 numbers open man....
Was actually quite sian at first cos tired den dun feel like skating. But man... after a while of screaming n yelling n getting used to on the skates... whoots!~
We skated to Changi safra. but hor... i fell like 3 times.
record breaking.
the first time is due to unknown reasons n im still amazed at how i managed to fall stra8. -.-
the 2nd n 3rd time is due to being WAH by Wah! humph. n aza kian was happily luffing away can!
im still a liability but try harder nx time can catch up wif them liao!
dinner at bedok again. Wah ate chay kuay tiao!
pls eat more.
I wan more HUM!! i wan i wan... pls... lets go open those shells!!

2006-09-09T00:14:00.000+08:00

The greatest invention of all times is not cup noodles...
its SONGS.
esp.. one tt fits ur mood perfectly.
=)
Garry send mi this song sometime back.
it fits.. perfectly.

What Hurts The Most

i can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
that don't bother me
i can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
i'm not afraid to cry every once in a while
even though going on with you gone still upsets me
there are days every now and again i pretend i'm ok
but that's not what gets me

what hurts the most
was being so close
and having so much to say
and watching you walk away
and never knowing
what could have been
and not seeing that loving you
is what i was tryin' to do

it's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere i go
but i'm doin' it
it's hard to force that smile when i see our old friends and i'm alone
still harder
getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret
but i know if i could do it over
i would trade give away all the words that i saved in my heart
that i left unspoken

what hurts the most
is being so close
and having so much to say
and watching you walk away
and never knowing
what could have been
and not seeing that loving you
is what i was trying to do

what hurts the most
is being so close
and having so much to say
and watching you walk away
and never knowing
what could have been
and not seeing that loving you
is what i was trying to do

not seeing that loving you
that's what i was trying to do

So many what ifs and if onlys in this world...
how much are you willing to give in order to go back in time to
fulfill them?

everythingifonlythereisachance..

2006-09-07T22:51:00.000+08:00

1 day of IMF = $35
10days of IMF = $350

Im gonna re-perm my hair.
Dye a new color.
Den use the remaining money for...
some things else.
haha...

i jus watched life scent2 on mobtv la...
den i got this urge to watch every epi.
den i take down the fun places and the resturant names.
den we go try ONE by ONE.
cool eh?
haha...

2006-09-07T12:49:00.000+08:00

Went to have chicken rice yest at lucky plaza.
But i think hor.. hougang plaza taste nicer.
Isky, they use REAL chicken rice.
n it isnt tt expensive.
i wanna bring u there to eat!

After tt, we went over to kallang.
National Stadium.
WHOOTS! The Q..
damn long la...
but lucky still got student ticket.
Isky was like... 'stay close stay close. quick fill up the gap.'
aiyo... u din notice the yellow guy in the front was sticking his hand out meh.
haha...

by the time we got in, it was almost half time liao.
n man... can sg pls attack?
I dun understand the game oso noe u guys are not ATTACKING!!!
Anyway.. im very amazed!!
The crowd! All their hands will move in one direction. And so many black heads turning in one direction!
haha... n kian ar. pls lo.. not i blur blur im jus amazed wif the crowd so i missed tt ball la.
And sum1 was holding a china flag n walking into the Singapore side.
And Sg n China Flag got into a fight! Push push.
hais... pls grow up la..
And may i add... the game is a waste of my 2bucks.
Mayb the future game will be better? haha...
And someone told me sumthing quite sad during the game....
I hope it wun happen la...

Walked all the way to Geylang!
For roti prata and ...... DOU JIANG YOU TIAO!
finally i tried YOU TIAO WANG!
nice nice.... i like the you tiao man!
but the dou jiang is ok la...
msia haf better de.
Ididanotherthingu saiduwill do...
williforgetwhenifinallyfulfilleverything?

Took a bus hm... its freaking slow. S.N.A.I.L SPEED.
n for the last few stops...
there is no1 at the bus stop OR anywhere near the bus stop.
But! the bus driver stopped. open the door and waited..
-.-

Isaw2placesttwewentb4.
irealliwishtohaveselectedmemoryla.
isthetvplayingajokeonmi?

2006-09-07T02:54:00.000+08:00

Wanted to blog about something... but see no point liao.
Its amazing how a downpour can clear my mood up.
its all smiles again...
Thanks to tt person hu scolded mi ar. Lucky u werent alslp yet.
=)(=

I dun realli care if im faking anot.. cos hor mayb im jus too numb to noe the difference between real n fake.
hehe... does it matter anymore?
As long as im smiling at you when we are toking.
As long as im luffing at all the jokes tt were cracked.
As long as im doing new stuff.
As long as i get by each day...
im counting the blessings already.
Dun expect too much from me.
Accept my sudden stoning..sudden quietness...
its useless to ask mi to stop.
If i have a choice,
i would have wan it to stop long ago.
So if i dont haf a choice...
do u think u haf one?

I noe tml n the future is for me to make good use of.
But i jus wanna move on wif life.. without tt part of me.
tt part is closed.
So im moving ok~

You are already moving on so quickly...
I wish i din haf to turn back..
But do i haf a choice when everywhere i go i see shadows of u?
the memories are grabbing me...
pulling mi back step by step.
when i tot i m moving on...
it takes one brand new pic of u.
tanned, happy and wif her to make mi crumble again.
memories float back.
promises that are left empty.
im trying to fulfill them..
n telling myself..
u were there to fulfill them wif mi.
im living in my own world.
im dreaming of tt world too.
even when im awake.
sometimes i jus wish
i don have to wake up.
its so happy in my sleep.
but sometimes...
i m jus afraid of slping.
cos i noe.. there will b a point when i have to wake up.
if u noe.. after all these months..
im still here, same spot n waiting..
will u turn back?
but knowing u...
i noe u wont.
u are living the life u have oways wanted.
why would u turn back?
But at the end of the day,
wat puzzles me is
is it the memories or u tt is holding me back?
memories i can create again...
but if its u.. like i told u many times b4...
there's no another u. never will have.
but it doesnt really matter la...
im still here alone everyday now.

2006-09-06T00:09:00.000+08:00

I was right to avoid ur blog la...
but i still stupid stupid tot i will b ok.
bullshit.
tt feeling realli sucks...
envy is a sin.
but how can one help it?
Mayb till that day im back in ... ....
den everything will be ok...

i long.. n i wish...

2006-09-05T22:32:00.000+08:00

Measure of Men

some things that are said in the show is very true.

Yi Ge Ren De Jing Cai

Fell in love wif this song.
I think i can still do stuff by myself.
and still be happy la..
even though, sum1 thinks tt is very ke lian.
oh well...
but since im a pig...
u think i still need company meh?
i jus need my mud rite.

The story of the Lollipop

How ar? I tot of tt...
n i smiled... n i started thinking impossible stuff.
realli impossible kind.
so why m i still thinking abt it?
haha...
how long ago was tt?
tt nick... tt nite at the playground.. tt song..
oh man...
shoo shoo...

Ni shi wo xin zhong de yi ju jing tan...

2006-09-05T14:40:00.000+08:00

okies so here is another post for tt sum1 who came a FEW TIMES (god noes how many times u visited yest) yest...
You are out shopping now my dear.
haha... so there's a hint.

my bro pang seh mi today.
i could have gone out wif yan lin la...
but i push it to another day so i could go out wif my stupid idiotic bro.
n he cant even ta bao lunch for mi.
the best part. he ate the left overs for dinner, which im suppose to have for lunch.
so now im eating condense milk wif sugar.
is tt the spelling? u noe u make milo wif tt milk.

so wat m i gg to do next? i wanna book BTT again.
amazing isnt it?
i still wanna go take it.
i wonder how im gg to take my final theory la.
cant even pass my BTT.
i knew everything la...
kian can b the judge.
so why i fail ar?
god noes...

den im gg to iron the clothes, sweep n mop the floor.
be a good gal.
since i've been gg out till quite late these past few days.
n i think im still gg out later la.
im a nite person.
the day doesnt seem appealing anymore.
but if go out at nite hor....
no transport hm!!
hais... sian...

yest had a lil tiny bit of shopping at far east.
i forgot things are not cheap.
i jus bought 2 items.. den cost mi 46 bucks liao.
i cant even cover tt wif my pay la..
oh wait.. i haf no pay. since i haven been working.
dots...

meet up wif the gang for food republic...
isk did tt thing again. whoots! i love it man.
food was jus ok onli.. wanted korean bbq but like very ex- lei...
den isky started making fun of my .......
damn dots la...
n no1 help mi lo!
i was there alone... fending for myself.
kaoz.
wat good friends rite.
slack alil... den off we go!

wed soccer match ya?
oh.. are we supporting china?
or sg ar?
i don even noe...
i cant wait to b sweaty n shouting.
whOo!~

2006-09-04T10:28:00.000+08:00

Superstar

went down to tpy to support my dear vina.
den i saw zhen feng there.
u all very ONZ hor..
alone also can stand so long.
anw... 12pm noon.
my dear vina will be having his audition.
let me noe the good news okies?

After tt, went to kbox wif aza and wa.
oh man.. aza is a singer.
haha... her pitch very high.
wa, u think too much.
jus sing. haha...
I had fun yest. abit cold la.. but still fun.
haha...
wee kian came and crash our session after his work.
and he sang his fav. Tian Tian Ye Ye.
all this singing make mi gian...
haha...
oh well...

to TB 55 IAP & OIAP ppl:

START WORK LO!
Dun worry! U guys are not forgotten!
See... dinner at wisma on the first day!
=))

i hope u are have fun.. OIAP ppl! update us once in a while ok?
Dun keep having fun onli !
hehe...

U guys are missed.

2006-09-03T03:10:00.000+08:00

Guardian Angel

okies.. i cant put my tots into words...
jus... tis.
Those who watched it will know ba.

2006-09-02T15:36:00.000+08:00

They have left.

I was suppose to be one of them.
Embarking on a journey.
but i chose to gif it up.
for wat? i duno.

so now im rotting here.
waiting for another day to pass.

oh well.. wish u all best of luck!
Man.. the class has shrank.

Bury mi in a lavander farm..
den i shall be peaceful all eternity.

2006-09-02T01:53:00.000+08:00

i dreamt of u last nite.
with tt smile, tt touch n tt smell.
so familiar. all of it.
tt smile tt i used to own.
tt touch tt tingles my skin.
n tt smell tt i grew to love.
i din wan to wake up.
god knows when we shall meet again...

but u were gone. as soon as my eyes open wide.
wish i might, forever was then.
when everything was beautiful lying in ur arms.

Gif to me forever.
For watching stars without u, my soul cries
Griefing heart u made mi felt.
Stop the ache like poison,
slowly eating up all tt is left.
Time takes away the pain,
as well as the memories.
the memories i treasure to this very day.
Where are you?
Stop my act.
Lure me out of the darkness,
or all will decay n
finally.. turn to ashes.

2006-09-01T18:56:00.000+08:00

it came and went

so the long-awaited chalet came and went by.
this is the best grp chalet i ever had.
was abit sad tt i cldnt go buy food wif the rest.
it mus haf been so fun.
when we hold a bbq in the future, pls pls ask mi to go buy food k?

we had the bbq session on the first nite.
cabbed there wif eveline, ruby n kai qi.
$17! imagine if i had to cough out tt sum alone...
piangzzz..

before i knew it, i was back in pasir ris again.
the place i had avoided for so long...
the place i had been so familiar with in the past.
huge changes gg on over there.
i cldnt reg the place already.
but some things remain the same.
the bic shop, the seats, the sea.....
oh well...
the bbq was fun. but duno y i cldnt eat alot lei...
abit not enluff like tt...
so i tot i was too full n went walk walk awhile.
the chairs n table are the same.
the 'scars' left on them are still there.
but the people had changed n gone.
promises are left empty..
too hard to sit dwn anymore so wander off again onli to find eh? i still not hungry lei.
haha..
but aza skills at bbq is good!

after the 9pm show... e show tt ALL the ppl are so after..
we went out to walk walk.
we bought the drinks along too.
heng ar! we bought them along...
haha...
the guys had hell lots of fun playing the drinking water game!
while i had gd company sitting under the stars wif mi.
jus chit chatting and drinking. =)

den we went out for BCM! oh man... the liver... so many!~
i cldnt finish...
so wei an finished mine off too! plus aza's too!
oh man... r u sure u are a SMALL eater?

den we slept awhile in the chalet. i was the first to K.O la... i saw tt bed. so tempting.
and i even asked isky to go away. dun disturb. haha..
woke up ard 11plus? den pack up the place a lil... aiyoyo... those gg china ar...
please learn to pack up! how can u leave the food outside?? omg... waiting for ants issit??

so one by one ppl woke up. i duno y i took a bath. haha... crazy.
we were gg to WWW lo...
had so much fun too!
even better den the previous visit..
but its two different kind of fun.. so i cant complain much rite?
we were so cold cos it was raining.
I have to compliment isky.
U ENDURE THOSE RIDES!! WELL DONE!!
And to kian n wa.
Pls la... jus becos u got big feet..tt's y u are all faster than mi!
And stop luffing at my eng! I like to b diff can?? haha...

had dinner at kfc wif yy, aza and wei an. not very nice lei...
the flour got sumthing wrong la..
haha...
Yi Xian showed up too!
so surprised!!
i sux at pool la...
cldnt go in a stra8 ball.
oh man...
so went back chalet slp slp. 1/2hr?
when i woke up.. isky said the most touching thing to mi.
which at first i tot he was crapping..
haha... onli when 1.8m pole tell mi again.. den i realise they were not crapping.
so i guess i sld slp more.
haha...

skated the whole nite la... n fell quite a no. of times..
was tired la.. so din join them for supper/breakfast at tamp..
i wanted to eat the korean bbq so much can!
but it had to open AFTER i bought my breakfast~
hais..

realli haf lots of fun !!!

bbq and pinic soon plsssssss!

2006-08-29T01:28:00.000+08:00

'underneath .. ......, ......... ... ......... ... ... .... . .... ... ...... .. .. ......'

vina.. as oways.. one sentence...
makes mi wonder...
dun guilty ar!
this jus gives mi another prespective of things...

i wanna so hard... but it jus keeps coming back to mi.

2006-08-28T22:48:00.000+08:00

today i spent my day doin ...
redundent things.
i cld ve been in far east, bugis or some place else shopping,
drinking my afternoon tea. enjoy the tai tai life for once.
but NOooOOo...
i had to be a smart alec to stick my butt into the IMF!
its good for the resume n all!
but my working shift is from 6.30am-6pm lidate lei!

den tml cant buy food....
i wanna buy food lo...
i wan i wan i wan....
aiyo~~
i wanna go~
i never buy food for chalet before lei!!
i wan to go lo~~

2006-08-27T16:40:00.000+08:00

I love F.R.I.E.N.D.S

Friends are so much better.
No strings attached.
Enjoying to the fullest.
Dun haf to be overly concern.
I wan friends in my life now.
Nth else...

2006-08-27T01:22:00.000+08:00

Fel is proud of herself!

why?

1. She went to work today! After MIA for 2 weeks!
$40~ (enluff for my heels!)

2. She made it to Bedok in one piece.
Not becoming a cry baby.

3. She gathered all her COURAGE and learn to skate!
Agar agar can la... with the help of my SHIFU!

4. She make it back to the skate shop in less than half the time she took to go e other side. WooHoO!~ with the help of my SHI FU!

5. She finished the whole MacChicken Student Meal by herself!

6. She managed to pull everyone into playing pool! Therefore, maintaining her aim of pooling session everyday.
Thou lost la... tgt wif kian! not my fault alone k!
bleah~ Mostly my fault la...

7. 6-pack Tiger! Shared tgt wif Aza, Kian and Wei an.
Slurps!~

8. Long chit-chatting session cum watch uncle fish stingray!
How many of u seen a uncle fish a stingray up?
its an accomplishment to watch ok!

9. Managed to go hm without changing out of my wet shorts. thanks to wei an hor!
haha... no hard feelings la!

10. Kian n moi managed to find the RIGHT bus-stop.

11. We went for supper! After tt Mac meal! WooHoo!~
Chicken porridge. hais.. abit un-creative la.. but better than nth!

12. Missed my last 168 bus. But due to my CLEVER-NESS n SMART-NESS,
i managed to bored 25! to amk!~

13. I din freak out when i duno where i was. abit freak la... but not the ultimate freaking type lo.

14. Wanted to cab hm from amk. which wld roughly cost mi $12. Den i saw the green green wordings from the mrt signboard! TaaDaa!~ Last train to Kranji!
Am i lucky or wat!~
I saved $11 !!
Thus saving Kian $12 worth of BCM!~

Im an angel~

Life is good.

:>

2006-08-25T23:46:00.000+08:00

Pool is definitely in my hobby list now.
Its even better when u can beat ur shifu by TWO rounds!
wHoOhoO!~
had fun pool-ing and giving sai-bian.
but i guess i need to learn to be honest.
haha.. aiya.. rules are meant to be broken la..
once in a while.

after pool session, went back to cwp for Jacks Place.
Combo meal whOo!~
Steak and Chicken.
plus a glass of ice lemon tea.
well i kop Garry's dessert too.
Mango Delight issit?
my impression of Jack Place wasnt good.
But tdy's meal was superb!
So i think tamp Jacks Place not very gd ba.

Anyway.. here's a note for the guys who haf OFFICALLY ended their attachment!
Pls go hm wif mi nx sems! I miss you all! haha.. Spanish soon?

Going to book chalet tmr.
actually quite ge yan la..
book one chalet need more den 5 ppl to go and mus wake up early for them.
wahaha.
But united we stand ya?
Rollerblade n cycling session tmr too!
Life is getting better day by day.

oh.. any plans for Sun? DATE ME!